Not bad ...
Do you ever wonder what the point of life is? I mean, every day, I get up, go to work, go to the gym, come home, sit on the couch, watch tv, and go to bed. Rinse, lather, repeat. Ok, some days I skip the gym part. And some days I go out and see friends, but really, what is the purpose of it all? Am I missing something?
I've been chewing on Ecclesiastes this week after a great sermon at church on Sunday. I think Ecclesiastes is quickly becoming one of my favorite books of the Bible. I'd read it before and never quite got it. The book just seemed depressing to me, but my pastor explained that Ecclesiastes is written like a diary. The author's emotions go up and down, and he is writing every which way as thoughts come to him, much like my diary would appear to any one who read it (you know, my REAL diary). In the end, he makes some great conclusions. Check out some of these passages:
"A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him who can eat or find engagement?"
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good where they live." 3:11-12
"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future." 7:14
"Here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments for this is the whoel duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." 12:13-14
So, here's what I take from the book: Only in God does life have meaning or pleasure. Without him, nothing will satisfy, everything is meaningless, "a chasing after the wind." We should enjoy the good things God gives us without guilt and accept the bad, understanding that only in the end will we see God's plan. God also gives me a lot of reassurances about time, which is a struggle for me as I wait for many things ... "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven," ... "He has made everything beautiful in its time."
I love that God understood that man would question the meaning of his life, like the author, and include this man's ramblings in the Bible to help us on our own search for meaning. I don't know how anyone can say the Bible isn't relevant to life today. Not when you've got good stuff like this in it. There are so many applicable insights in it, it makes me wonder why I ever struggle to read the Bible sometimes. I should want to devour it. I have some good things to ponder as we enter the new year.
Currently watching: Marley and Me (almost makes me want to get a pet)
Currently reading: The Secret Life of Bees (Thanks Paige)
Currently listening: Jason Mraz (it's been in my car for months and I'm still not tired of it. definitely a new record.)
It was one of the best movies I've seen in a long time (excluding HSM 3 of course :o ). You should check it out, especially if you have any interest in India.
God has blessed me so much. I don't deserve everything he has given me. So, it's time to count my blessings and wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!
My sister and I put up the Christmas tree this morning and are in the process of digging out all our Christmas ornaments. The Christmas music is on. I am indulging my shopping addiction by reading all the sale ads in the newspaper and planning out my gift giving and wish list. Football is about to start. It's a good day.
So remember the days when e-mail first came out? I was in middle school and all my friends got free hotmail or yahoo accounts. I don't know what we needed e-mail for, but we had fun with it. We would send each other e-mail forwards, chain letters, and "About Me" quizzes. These things were considered good e-mail. After middle school, the "send this to five people you love in the next five minutes" e-mails stopped. So now, ten years later, I am discovering a resurgence of junk e-mail forwards that I don't understand. I guess I am finally "in" at work because all of a sudden the administrative assistants who weren't that friendly to me are sending me all these forwards of pictures of cute animals, rainbows, and "pass this on to your special sisters". Really? I didn't think people in the workplace did this kind of stuff. Do they think I will forward these things on? This is all the result of an afternoon of boy talk. Apparently we've bonded, and I doomed to be on their e-mail forward list forever. Oh well. At least this means I'm "in". In that case, I'll take the forwards.
I don't have the Internet at my apartment, which has squelched my blogging as of late. I had to choose between paying for Internet or cable tv. Since I sit at a computer 8 hours a day, I chose tv. The funny thing is that I don't miss the Internet at all. I have so much more free time at night now that I can't waste it on Facebook or the iTunes store.
My new free time and freedom from homework has reopened the door to a little past time called "reading for pleasure". I had forgotten how fun it was. I started out with fluff reads like Nicholas Sparks, and I now I am reading "Angela's Ashes" and "Wild Swans", which definitely have more depth. I love memoirs and biographies. I think I'm going to read one of Obama's books next to find out a little bit more about our next president.
I love reading and learning about people's lives. I think that is what first drew me to journalism - a natural curiousity and desire to connect with other people. Good journalism allows you to connect with humans, their stories and emotions. As the interviewer, I made some special connections with the people that I got to talk to. I loved it. I realized that I find that same quality in international student work. I have some students with amazing stories.
It's funny. Back before freshman year at Baylor, we had to take the strengths finder test. My top strength was connectedness, then developer, harmony, learner and belief. I didn't really understand those strengths at the time, but as I've grown older, I recognize how true they are for me. Also, I see how they apply to jobs and career choices now. It's pretty cool.
Anyways, if you have any good book recommendations, let me know.
Things seem to move fast for me. I found and started a job in a week. Last Saturday I found an apartment and now I'm moving this Saturday. I'm super excited. Except I focused so much on paying for rent and utilities, I forgot to factor in other expenses. Like furniture. I think it's going to be me and my bed and a bookcase for a while. No kidding. I have no couch or table or chairs. I went up to the attic tonight and discovered that my brother and sister took all my kitchen stuff with them to college. Perfect. There's something to be said for being young and poor though. In five years, hopefully I can look back and say "Remember that time I lived in an apartment without furniture? Yeah. That was crazy." At least the move on Saturday won't be too bad because I don't have much to move.
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Highs: making some friends at UNT to hang out with in Denton/Lewisville and getting to know some of my students better
Lows: realizing that I can't afford to pay for cable or dvr :(, being late for work because I had to defrost my car this morning (I don't know how it got that cold the night before)
Currently listening to: Jason Mraz, We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things ... check it out!
So remember those last two years of college when I was stressing about what to do after graduation and what career path God had for me? Yeah, that seems so silly now. For all the time I spent worrying and talking with equally confused friends about the future, my life since graduation has all fallen neatly in to place. The transition has been easier than I thought. I love my job. I enjoy going to work. I feel fulfilled. That is all I ever wanted. I realize that I've only been working for 5 weeks, and this is definitely just a year-or-two job, but I have a good feeling about it. I love my students, I'm never bored, and I have a job with a natural penchant for comedic situations. Perfect.
I am ready to move out of my parent's house though. Besides the hour-long commute, there isn't anything I dislike about living at home. It's just time to move on. I need to start up my life again, make new friends, find a church, get involved in the community somehow. Dating would be good too. When I am at home, I am lazy and feel no motivation to do those things. I'm too comfortable. I'm looking for a roommate, but no luck so far. If you know of anybody, send her my way!
Over the last year, I started to form an idea in my head of the type of job I wanted. I never thought I would actually find that job. But I did! Last week I started my job at UNT. I am the counselor for international students going through the Intensive English Language Institute. That means that I get to help students from all over the world settle into life in the US and adjust to their new environment as they take English classes in order to be able to apply for admission to an American university.
I can't even begin to describe the special place my students have taken up in my heart, and it's only been a week. I have so much empathy and admiration for them and what they are attempting to do. The students are so receptive to my friendship and eager to practice their English skills, which are not very strong yet. Besides counseling, I also get to plan activities for the students to introduce them to American culture. Last week, I took 80 new students to Target to help them get all the supplies they needed to get settled. That was an adventure to say the least. I stood up at the front of the store to help students check out since for most it was their first time in an American store. I noticed that one of the Chinese girls was buying Poise pads, and I had an awkward moment of wondering whether I should tell her that she was buying adult diapers rather than feminine products, or whether I should just let her learn from the experience and not embarrass her in front of the other students. I ended up not saying anything. But she, along with all the other students coming to me with problems last week, reminded me what a difficult thing it is to go to another country and not speak the language. I remember having a hard time at grocery stores when I lived in Maastricht because I couldn't read labels on products. Once I ended up buying fabric softener instead of detergent because the pictures on the labels weren't enough to help be distinguish the product.
Anyways, I feel like God has used my experiences and my desires and interests to uniquely place me in a situation where I can minister to international students. They are desperately in need of friendship and kindness. At the beginning of the summer, I applied for some jobs that I knew I could get, but was never really excited about any of them. Now I see that, while it's difficult, waiting on God and his perfect timing is always worth it. He's had a plan all along. I'm so excited about the adventure he is taking me on. I can already tell that my job will never be boring.
Life has been full since I arrived home. I've been dealing with a lot of emotions as I adjust to life in Texas and the realities of having to face life now as a financially independent adult. The day after I got home, my parents dropped my car insurance and cell phone bill in my lap and were like, "Here you go". My dad also announced I would have to start paying rent to live at home if I took too long to find a job. I understand, but it was a little much to dump all that on me before I had even been home for 48 hours.
Beyond that, our house was being renovated when I came home. This included turning my room into a guest room. I'm sad all my lime green, blue and purple is gone. I don't have a teenage room anymore. While this was being done, I was living in my brother's room, and my stuff is scattered throughout the house, garage and attic. It's been hard because even though I'm at home, I still feel live my existence is very temporary and unknown. I don't know how long I am going to be living at home, and it's going to be a pain to repack everything up after I just unpacked it when I do move out.
Nevertheless, I love being home and have had fun being with my family again. I've also been slowly but surely catching up with all my friends in the DFW area. Another new adjustment for me is having to transition to having friends scattered across the metroplex, state and country. There are so many people who live far away now that I miss. Is this the point in life when you transition to "adult friendships"? Where you see people every couple of years and just understand that you will always be friends, even when you don't see or talk to them regularly?
I've been using this time of transition to seek God and renew my relationship with him. I have to say, this could have been a difficult or stressful time for me, but I have had complete peace as I wait to see what direction He takes me.
I made it back safe and sound! I've been home for a week now and have been thinking about updating for a while, but I'm lazy, and I can't really blame that on jetlag. My flight to Dallas left from London, so I decided to go to London a day early and spend some time there. However, when I made that plan, I forgot about the fact that I had 100 pounds of luggage to carry around. That's not an exaggeration, it was actually probably more than that. Traveling was a nightmare. I could barely pull/carry all my luggage, and I had to stop every 10 minutes to catch my breath. It was only by the grace of God and kind strangers that I made it through the train station, the streets of London, and the tube to the airport. Let's just say I've got the girl in distress act down pat, although no dramatization was really necessary - I was in distress.
I ended up being disappointed because my pre-planned day in London was ruined by torrential rain. I guess God wanted me to leave England with a reminder of what I was really leaving behind. Today I saw pictures from the British Open going on in Scotland right now. Everybody was huddled up in blankets under umbrellas. Now that I've been back in 100 degree heat and have gotten back into my life, those pictures seem very bizarre. I feel like England is already a faint memory, when I only left it a week ago. I can't believe I too was in Scotland wearing a jacket not long ago.
Oh, a couple days before I came back to the US, I went up to Edinburgh, Scotland and had a great time. I think the only real regret travelwise from this last year was that I didn't get to do any traveling up in Scotland. I wanted to see the highlands and do some hiking, but I just didn't plan my time well enough.
I can't believe my time in England is over. It's good to be home, but it's always sad when something you looked forward to for so long comes to an end. Now I have to find something new to anticipate. That shouldn't be hard seeing as how my life is basically a blank canvas right now. I've applied for four jobs so far and had one interview already on Friday. I'll let you know more when one of my plans comes to fruition. In the meantime, I get to hang out and spend time with my family and friends. I also have some work to do on my dissertation still. My supervisor came up with a few things for me to work on, and I didn't get them finished before I left. I am trying to get it all finished this week so I don't have to think about it any longer.
I think that's about it for now. Love to you all! Please let me know if you're in the Dallas area, I'd love to see you!
I finished writing my dissertation this weekend. I thought I would be more excited, but I am still a wreck. I turned it in to my supervisor today, who is known to be a critical marker, and am so afraid that he's going to return it to me with comments like "Ideas are incoherent. Lit review needs a serious rewrite. Your content analysis is a joke." See why I can't be excited? This is my last week left in Leeds to do work, but I am pretty much at his mercy in terms of how long it takes for him to read and mark it. Unless he returns it tomorrow, I will probably have to finish it at home, and I don't want to do that. I want to get on the plane and go home knowing that I am done with grad school. So until then, I just keep refreshing my e-mail, waiting for the note that could free me or have me chained to a computer for another month. I have never wanted to be done with something so much in my entire life.
Since arriving in England, I've been engaging in a little game. I like to play chicken with all the people that walk towards me on the sidewalk. Think about it. What side of the sidewalk do you walk on? I always walk on the right because that's the side of the road we drive on, so that's the way traffic flows. So in England, people should walk on the left side of the path, right? Well, they don't. According to my very scientific experiment, people haven't got a clue in hell what side they are supposed to walk on. Pure pedestrian chaos. Most go to the right, but some go to the left. It could be that there are so many foreigners in big cities like Leeds and London who are used to walking on the right that they are skewing my experiment. I will never know, and it's driving me crazy.
So check it out. My flight home leaves in the morning from London, so I have to go down the day before and spend the night in London. I read an article about a new hotel that opened up in Heathrow airport called Yotel. It's modeled after those Japanese business hotels that are basically just cupboards that people sleep in. Now I could have stayed in a hostel in London, but I decided why not take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to stay in a 7 square-meter cupboard at the airport. I get a double bed, bathroom, flatscreen tv and Internet in my tiny compartment, plus I get the ability to sleep in since I'm already at the airport and can avoid having some drunk guy wake me up in the middle of the night in a 12-bed hostel room. A win all the way around.
Is it crazy that I'm excited about this?
Hello blog world. I'm back.
I had a great time with my parents. I met them at the hotel in London, we hugged, and it was as if I had never been gone. The only thing that was weird was that this place where I've been living was totally foreign to them. I forget I'm in a different country sometimes, everything just seems normal to me now. It took my mom the whole trip to figure out the money, which I don't even think about now. After spending a few days in London, we rented a car and drove south to Portsmouth so my dad could see the HMS Victory - the oldest floating naval ship in the world. It was something I could have cared less about, except that I like to think that my lifetime of my dad dragging me around to various historical and scientific sites, as well as every national park and wildlife preserve we pass on the highway, has in some way made me a more interesting person. I intend to do the exact same thing to my kids. If I ever meet a guy interested in naval history we'll have something to talk about for about five minutes. My favorite places we visited were the Cotswalds, which is where you will find all the cute cottages and thatch roof houses all situated in villages that are so cute and perfect you'll feel like you stepped onto a movie set. We also took a personal C.S. Lewis tour in Oxford with a guide that was a real character. It was so neat to learn more about Lewis, see his house, eat in the pub where the Inklings met, and sit in the pew he sat in for church every Sunday. I am determined to read more of his stuff this summer, and I want to see the movie The Shadowlands. Finally, we made our way up to the Lake District. I had been there before with Ashley back in the fall, but since we had a car and could go up all the deserted mountain roads, I feel like I experienced it all in a new way. It's absolutely one of the prettiest places I've ever been. My parents and I hiked up some peaks outside of Keswick. The climb was a killer, but there is nothing like sitting on the top of a mountain looking out at peaks and down at valleys and lakes and small little villages. On one of the peaks, we were above the clouds, and it was just such an incredible thing to experience the beauty of creation in a new way.
I didn't really take many pictures this trip, but here's a few.
Dad in front of The Kilns (C.S. Lewis's house)
Thatched roof cottages in the Cotswalds:
The beautiful Lake District:
I am taking the train to London tomorrow to meet my parents! I am so excited. It doesn't feel real that in the next 14 hours, I will see members of my family again. It's been more than 8 months. In the last eight months, I've learned to be independent and to not miss being around family. I've gotten used to making my own decisions without having to call one of my parents or the best friend first. And in 14 hours, my two lives are going to collide. I'm so excited to show my parents the world I've been living in and have adapted to over the last year. I've just in the last few weeks started to realize how much I will miss England. I'm excited to go home, but I finally feel like I've come to understand this place, so I'm sad to leave. I'm going to miss my church here, my classmates, being a Fulbrighter, going to the town square and shopping streets on Saturdays, beautiful gardens, the newspapers and media frenzy here, taking the train, and sitting on the bus and watching the old women gossiping around me. The old people and little kids are so much cuter here because of their accents. I love watching the little kids running around in the school uniforms and hearing them say the word "Mummy." I'm going to miss all the quirks and sensibilities of the people here. I'm also going to really miss London. It's one of my favorite cities in the world, and I can't wait to play tour guide tomorrow.
Some things just never get easier. I thought after I made it through exams and took a day off, I would be eager to dive into my dissertation. Time is ticking if I want to be able to finish it by the end of June, travel and go home on July 10. Unfortunately, it's been 4 days and I still can't find the desire to get started. I have never struggled as much with school as I have this year. I don't know what the deal is.
Enough about school. I went to a rugby match last week, which was a lot of fun. I think it was more interesting than American football because it moves faster. When someone is tackled, they have to let go of the ball and someone else picks it up, so the game doesn't stop every time someone goes down. Anyways, a rugby match was one of the things I had to check off my "England" list before I leave. Now I just have to learn to play cricket and my circle of English sporting experiences will be complete.
The picture is too small, but I would say check out their shorts.
I did something exciting tonight. I bought my plane ticket home! The big date is ... July 10. At approximately 3:40 p.m. that day, I will be back on American soil. I was initially excited about this, but I just realized that leaves me with only 69 more days in England. I have a heck of a lot to do in those 69 days. This includes turning in my last paper, taking exams, carrying out my content analysis project, writing my dissertation, and traveling through Scotland and the south of England. Plus, I'd like to go to at least one Meditteranean country before I head back to the land of flat prairie and blazing sun. (I have to admit, I can't wait to feel that blazing sun again. I am so pale and sun-deprived, I am going to have to slowly reintroduce myself to that yellow thing up in the sky.) At least now that there's an end in sight, I think I will be more productive with my time so I can get my work done and do everything I want to do.
So, today was a big day for another reason as well. I had my last class of the semester. But it wasn't just the last class of the semester, it was the last class of my academic career. Ever. 18 years of sitting in classrooms, and it is now over. Wow. I will actually miss going to class. It's the homework, reading, and paper-writing that I can't wait to kiss good-bye forever. Unfortunately, that won't happen for another 69 days.
I'm sad that now that classes are over, I won't get to see all my coursemates anymore. We are all going different places over the summer to work on our dissertations, and only a few of my good friends will be around Leeds. My classmates were one of the best parts of my year here. I will miss them. We have a lot of parties planned together in the next few weeks though, so that will be fun.
I'm getting excited about my dissertation. I'm writing about the peace journalism movement started by a correspondent for the BBC. I'm going to be analyzing newspaper articles about European conflicts and to determine how they are framed - as war or peace discourse. Peace journalism believes that the traditional way stories about conflict, war and violence are reported encourages violence, and that reporters have an ethical responsibility to think about the consequences of their stories. Thus, reporters should think more about the way they report on conflict and give a voice to all sides of an issue, explore the roots of conflict rather than focus on just the violent aspect of it, and give some attention to the efforts for peace that are being made. It's an interesting and controversial topic. I'm ready to be finished with exams so that I can focus on my project and see where it takes me.
Today was absolutely beautiful. The sun was out. It got up to 60 degrees. Flowers are blooming. I sat outside enjoying the sun, and it felt like God created today just for me. He did, right? It definitely felt like an answer to prayer at least.
I had some encouraging moments this week. I received an essay back and got the highest score I've gotten all year - I went from high pass to distinction. By the way, the English grading scale is very weird. It's graded on a scale of 1-80, and anything above a 60-70 is the B,B+ range. I got a 73 and was so happy. Wouldn't have felt that way in the States. I also talked to one of my professors about some problems I was having with my dissertation and my dissertation supervisor and he handled it all for me. It made me realized that sometimes it is good to express your frustrations. I usually keep that kind of thing inside. Anyways, my situation is much better now, and I feel a lot more optimistic about the project I'll be producing now. Finally, I discovered a smoothie shop near campus that I didn't know existed. You have no idea how exciting this is for me. I love me some smoothies. And it's nice to have a place to go and sit in the afternoon besides a pub. I spent two hours after class hanging out with my coursemates in the smoothie shop, and I walked away feeling happy and relaxed. I've been so focused on school, it was a good reminder that I need to take breaks every once in a while.
I am supposed to be writing my first draft of a lit review right now. Hence the post. Actually, there may be a surge in the number of posts I make to my blog in the next few months, since all I will be doing between now and July 1 is writing.
I have made several self-destrucive decisions in the last week.
Bad decision #1: It took me a whole year, but I finally stumbled upon the games package on my computer. I made the mistake of opening up Spider Solitaire and teaching myself how to play. If you want to know a good way to pass an hour of your day without realizing it, play solitaire. Now instead of Facebook providing a study distraction, I have solitaire, which is much more deadly.
Bad decision #2: I began watching The Hills online at MTV.co.uk. The American television stations won't let you watch their shows from outside the country, and one of my friends mentioned that she watches her MTV shows on the UK website. It was The Hills or Real World, and I'd like to think I chose the lesser of two evils, but the smart decision would have been neither. Now I am hooked, waiting for the day when Heidi will finally dump Spencer and realize she's been an idiot.
Bad decision #3: I have started spending too much time and money on iTunes. It started when I heard the new Madonna and JT song on BBC radio 2 and couldn't get it out of my head. Then it started with a rampage to catch up on all the new music I've missed in the last 7 months. The most embarrassing song I purchased would probably be Jordin Sparks, "No Air." I usually try to stay away from American Idol offerings, but this song was too catchy. Cleaning my room while belting it out with Jordin, I actually wished I had had my heart broken so I could feel the song more. So any men interested in breaking my heart so I can sing more passionately to a sub-par pop song that will be forgotten in two months, just let me know.
I'm perfectly aware of how ridiculous I just made myself sound. And thus ends my essay-writing procrastination.
Tonight I did something I like to do every once in a while ... I went back and read some of my old journal entries from my time at Baylor. After reading for a while, I was reminded of a few things. I had an incredible college experience. I miss Baylor so much. College life in England is so different from the States. No mascots, school spirit, homecoming, football games, or rivalries with other schools. Things that are much too cheesy for the English. Reading back through my journal showed me what an incredible journey God has taken me on the past four years. Good and bad decisions. Highs and lows in my walk with God. Gradual maturity, which you don't really notice until much later on in life. Looking back to entries I wrote before freshman year, I realized that I'm a completely different person than I was in high school or first two years of college. Europe has played a big part in that. I have a feeling that in 20 years when I look back on my life, my two stays in Europe will bookend a specific chapter in my life. One that was filled with confusion, frustration, growth, adventure, and change. I think this chapter is definitely going to be an important one for preparing and defining who I will become and what I will do with my life. The biggest thing, however, that I got from reading my journal is the proof that God answers prayers. I realized that the things that I wrote about once or that were repeated prayers in my life have been answered, and I never stopped to give God the thanks and praise he deserves. I see now how God has answered my cries in his own way in his perfect timing. It assures me that the requests I have been making over the past years that have not yet been answered with a "yes" will come when the time is right.
School is so overwhelming and life-consuming right now, and it was so good for me to have that time of reflection. God is going to help me meet all the challenges I have left here in the next three months just as he always has.
Fun British word/phrase of the day: nip = go
"I'm just going to nip to the store."
PS- I am jealous of you all experiencing the sun and spring in Texas. It has been raining/snowing/hailing here the last two weeks. I can't wait for the day when I can go outside without my winter coat.
I had a great trip. Ireland was as green and beautiful as always, and it was so fun have a friend to show me all the spots.Five girls, six days, and one volvo makes for a long trip, especially when it takes two hours to get every one in one place and out the door in the morning. However, Norway was beautiful. It was the only place I've visited in Europe where I felt like I could be in North America. There were lots of rolling hills, pine trees, red farm houses, fishing boats along the ocean inlets, and just beautiful nature. It reminded me a lot of where my family lives in Minnesota, so I felt really relaxed and peaceful there. Almost like a mini-homecoming. It was also nice to get to stay with my friend Kirsti's family. Last week was the first time I have been in a house since moving to England in September. Crazy, huh? It felt so good to have a mom around to take care of us, and to be able to lay on a couch again and to watch TV. I haven't watched TV since the Fulbright put me up in a hotel for our conference in January. I stayed in their upstairs room, which had its own balcony and an amazing view. On our last night, Kirsti's mom cooked us a traditional Norwegian dinner, which included moose meat as the main course. It was good, but a different texture from any other meat I've tasted. I guess the closest comparison I could make would be to roast beef.
I wanted to upload pictures of Norway, but blogger isn't being cooperative right now. I'll post some later. Now I'm leaving tomorrow morning to visit a friend in Northern Ireland. I'm so excited! I love Ireland so much, and this is the first time I'll visit it this year.
I knew I wasn't imaging things.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1725547-1,00.html
I am in my second week of a four-week holiday from classes right now. In England, most universities have a month long vacation for Easter, which is ironic because this country is very much a post-Christian society, but "celebrating" Easter seems to be a big deal here. I think they just really like the long break from work.
I spent the first week of my break in London doing part of my Fulbright internship with the BBC. I worked in the radio current affairs department and got to learn about radio editing and helped put together the piece for their weekly "Profile" programme. This week, we profiled Simba Makoni, who is challenging Robert Mugabe in the presidential elections in Zimbabwe next weekend. I had to find people who could tell personal stories about him and be interviewed for the radio, so I basically had to google stalk Makoni and call every name I could that came up as a friend, co-worker or relative. Yes, I made calls to South Africa and Zimbabwe and talked to all the politically active Zimbabwean ex-pats in Britain. It's amazing how much information someone will give you when you call them and say you work for the BBC. If you are interested in hearing the program I worked on, it's at http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/profile/pip/djghq/. It was neat to get to see how a program comes together, and I had fun learning about radio journalism and made some good contacts.
For those of you who have studied or lived in England, you will appreciate this next part. On my first day of work at the BBC, I met the people I was going to be working with and then was immediately given a health and safety course. I was introduced to the fire wardens for the department, shown where all the fire exits and first aid kits were, where to go during a fire drill, and was instructed to dial "treble six" if I needed to contact an ambulance from inside the building. The British are obsessed with health and safety to the point of it bordering on absurd. There is a joke in England that you can't do anything without it being a health or safety violation. Also, my boss having only met me 5 minutes prior to this was too polite to tell me to dial six-six-six, hence the treble six instructions. The English are nothing if not polite. It was so fun to be in a British office for the week. I wish I could properly convey to you the hilarity of British social rules and culture. Every hour someone would sigh and say something like, "Blimey, I need a cuppa tea," and then go around taking orders for a tea run. These people drank like seven cups of tea every day and yet I never saw any of them leave their desk to use the loo. How do they do it? I had to drink at least two cups so as not to appear rude. I still don't get the appeal of drinking a cup of hot water with very little taste.
Can't stop listening to: Imogen Heap and Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful of Sunshine"
Can't stop eating: Peanut M&Ms
Can't stop looking: at the calendar
Newfound release: writing in my journal
Place I want to be: sitting on the couch inbetween my mom and dad
Currently reading: Atonement
Trying to understand: what happened in Kosovo and Bosnia
New stress relief: sudoku
Currently anticipating: interning at the BBC next week
Best news someone could give me right now: yeah, we decided to cancel the dissertation requirement for graduation
Latest Google search topic: Project Runway gossip/where are they now
Current fascination: The Clintons
My prayer for you and me:
"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ." Eph. 3:16-19
Read this, it's crazy: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/13/wtoilet113.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox
People in England love to talk about the weather. It's one of their cultural quirks. So indulge me for a second because this week has been crazy weather-wise. Last week was beautiful. It felt like spring. Then the torrential winds came. Then there was a 5.2 magnitude earthquake. (Really.) Then came more wind, this time bringing along rain. Now the sun is back out, and it is 40 degrees outside, but it is snowing. How is that even possible? I was out jogging, excited about spring weather, and then it starts snowing. And we talk about weather in Texas being unpredictable.
So, I made it through February! Yay! Now I have officially been here six full months. The rest of the year is downhill from here. I have two weeks left of class, then a month off for Easter break, then three weeks of class, then exams, then my parents visit, and then I write this danged dissertation, travel, and go home. See what I mean? It's all downhill from here. Except that the downhill part is going to be the hardest part school-wise. I have so much to do before break begins. It's incredibily stressful trying to work on my class assignments and my dissertation at the same time, but I have to get the project portion of my dissertation finished before June, and in order to get my project together, I have to get all my background research done. Right now I'm researching for two papers, plus my dissertation, and it's been difficult trying to keep everything seperate and on track. There are time when I just feel defeated by school and wish I could just walk away from it and forget about getting a master's. But then my fighter side kicks in, and I get new energy and refuse to be defeated by school. God has been so faithful to me this year and always meets my needs when I am weak, just like he's promised. If anything, this year I've learned that it's ok to be weak. It's when we are in a state of brokenness that God is able to teach us and use us the most.
Another thing I have learned this year is that I find journalism interesting and enjoy studying it, but I am not passionate about it. If had to pick one thing to do for the rest of my life, it would not have anything to do with writing or reporting. It would have something to do with children or high school or college students. Sometimes my professor brings his son to his office, and I get to play and talk with him. It is always the best part of my day. There's something so energizing about being around a child and seeing how they interpret the world. I want to have a job that will help to ensure that every child and young adult has the resources and abilities to pursue their dreams. I know it's idealistic, but that's ok. I don't know where that desire will take me, whether it's teaching, education administration, non-profit or government work, communications for a NGO, there are so many possibilities. I'm still glad that I am studying communications because I think it's provided me with a broad background and a unique perspective, but I don't think you will be seeing me on CNN one day anymore.
I went to the circus last night. Not like Barnum and Bailey's circus at Reunion Arena. This was like a proper acrobatic freak show that took place in a big, white tent in the middle of Leed's park. It was the Moscow State Circus. It was definitely entertaining, but I felt like it had some residue of the Soviet era attached to it. Like these were the people who were assigned the job of "circus performer" by the communist regime in order to cheer people up and show the outside world that the USSR wasn't really a bad place to live. The performer's clothes and equipment were worn and faded and the men didn't smile much. The clowns made jokes about vodka. They did the whole illusionist thing sawing a woman in half. I have to say, even though I know it can't be real, it still confuses me how they can do that. The trapeze artists and the rubber woman were my favorite though. I don't know how you learn to do the things they did without killing yourself in the process. Pretty amazing. Anyways, it was a fun break in the middle of an otherwise school dominated weekend.
I start off my days with such good intentions. Then, somewhere along the way I end up spending two hours on YouTube instead of reading articles for my dissertation. I need discipline. In so many areas of my life ... school, quiet times, working out, healthy eating, cleaning. Realizing you have a problem is the first step, right? So I am going to change this. Really.
My computer crisis turned out not to be as bad as the HP guy told me it was. I got everything fixed, hopefully, and didn't lose anything after all. Yay! I have a month left before my warranty expires, so if something still is wrong, it better happen soon.
Now, to switch topics. Nothing bothers me more than seeing English butchered in the written form. (Actually, that's not true. Lots of things bother me more ... poverty, slavery, racism, abuse, seeing drunk guys peeing on buildings as I do nightly in Leeds ... you get the picture.) Never have I seen it so abused as I have this year. I think it is because text messaging is really popular here so everybody uses shorthand and abbreviations. Also, a lot of my friends speaks English as a second language, so when they try to use slang it can just get confusing. For instance, this week I received an e-mail inviting me to "port-luck" from my Singaporean friend. Take a look at some of the most egregious messages I've received:
Itz a Friday after all so therez no better time 2 start a get2geda than sunset.
Now shez out with anoda piece 4rom da Archives.
No shakes about it. Happi Niu Yia, da Chinese Way.
W8 4 me.
Like nails on a chalkboard.
Fun British phrases of the day:
good fun: Yes, we learned to play cricket. It was good fun.
give it a go: I've always wanted to learn, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I hear these phrases at least five times a day. They make sense, but we don't really use them in America. Wonder why.
My laptop is broken. I realized that besides being robbed, losing a family member, contracting a fatal disease, or having my identity stolen while overseas, this is just about the worst thing that could happen to me. (It always helps to have some perspective). Seriously though, it's a pain. I'm afraid I'm going to lose all my essays and dissertation work, photos, and music. Plus, since I use Skype to talk to my family and friends, I have basically lost my ability to communicate with people back home. I spend more time on my computer than I do in class or interacting with people in the human world, so it literally feels like I'm losing a best friend. My laptop knows me. Hmmm ... on the other hand, maybe this is the best thing that could have happened to me.
Other than that, life is looking up. God is good.
I have decided that the most encouraging thing in this world (besides knowing Jesus) is the knowledge that time goes on. It's a guarantee. One of the only things you can count on in this life. Right now, I want to go home. Winter without a car sucks. I don't feel like I belong anywhere yet. I am ready to be out of a dorm and in a house again. School is tough. I realized that I haven't really had a good hug since I said good-bye to my parents at the airport in September. I need one. July seems like forever away. But it will come. And until then, I choose to trust, live, learn, and have fun. I've always believed that happiness is a choice. It's been easy to think that because I have found happiness to come naturally in my life. But now it's a little tougher, so it's time to put my belief into action. I will be happy. I won't complain. And I will try to walk by faith and not sight, because right now I still don't understand why God gave me this opportunity. I feel like I've failed somewhere along the way because things haven't gone as I imagined they would. Maybe I entered into things with unrealistic expectations.
Take a deep breath, Meghan. It's going to be ok.
Now faith is being sure of what is hoped for, and certain of what is not seen. Hebrews 11:1
One of the fun things about living in a different country is that you get to learn about and celebrate a whole new set of holidays. I bought a calendar here and was surprised to find things like Thanksgiving, 4th of July, MLK day, etc. were not on it. Instead I had random days like Bank holidays and St. George’s day marked in it. Hello, Meghan. They don’t celebrate America’s independence from Britain here. Anyways, the latest holiday I’ve had the pleasure of celebrating here is Burns day, in honor of the Scottish poet Robert Burns. I don’t remember ever reading his work in school, but maybe you do. He was the poet for the “common man” and they love him in Scotland. So Burns night involves haggis and mash. If you don’t know what haggis is, google it. That’s what I had to do. However, before you judge me for eating it, just think of what a hotdog really is and maybe it’ll change your perspective. After the eating of the haggis, the token Scot in our group gave a dramatic recessitation of his favorite Burns poem with the thickest Scottish accent I’ve heard yet. (Note: dramatic is a polite way of saying drunken, because well, the Brits like their drink). And that, my friends, is Burns night. Next on the holiday list: St. David’s Day (don’t know what that is) and Mother’s Day, which is on March 2 here.
Fun British story of the day: At my church small group the other night, one of the leaders was reading from a book by an American author. The author wrote that Martha (as in Mary and Martha) was a worrywart. As soon as he said "worrywart" everybody burst out laughing. Apparently, it is not a phrase used here, and they thought it was the most ridiculous expression ever. As my friend said, "It's not even a word!" This from the people who call the bathroom a loo. Who came up with that one?
Happy 2008! This New Years was about on par with every other one. I watched movies in my pajamas and ate too much chocolate with my Canadian friend who was also in town for the break. It would be nice one of these years to actually have plans on New Years. To get dressed up and drink champagne and at least have the possibility of a kiss at midnight. Maybe next year! It's crazy ... I remember this time last year. I spent the night at a friend's house and as 2007 began I remember looking at the clock, thinking about graduation and wondering where in the world I would be ringing in the next new year. I never would have guessed it would be in little old Leeds. 2007 was good, and I'm thinking 2008 will be as well. This is the year I finish with school forever!
My Christmas break was wonderful. Except for a tearful moment on the phone with my parents on Christmas Day, I had a great holiday. Being away from home wasn't as hard as I thought, but that was probably because I was in such a wonderful place. I spent six days in Paris with Ashley, met her roommate and some of her friends, and leisurely soaked up the French culture. I really love Paris, and it's so much more enjoyable to travel when you are staying in someone's home rather than in a hostel. After Christmas, Ashley and I went to Vienna and then on to Salzburg, which was my favorite city of the two. The city is surrounded by the mountains and the view is just beautiful! Salzburg is near lots of ski resorts, and I have always wanted to go skiing in the Alps. Ashley couldn't ski because of her knee, and I was low on money and lacking in ski clothes, but I decided to just go for it and go skiing. Check something off my list. I couldn't pass up the chance. So, I took a shuttle out to a ski resort one of the days and went skiing by myself. The view up in the mountains was breathtaking, I can't even describe it. That was probably the best part of the day, because I soon ate it on the slopes. Granted, it had been four years since I went skiing, but the last time I went, I skied black courses. I never made it off the "easy" runs at Leogang. The mountains there are incredibly steep and the snow was really icy. I think I wiped out more times than when I was learning to ski. Whats more, I was the only skier on my butt that I saw the entire day. The Austrians learn to ski as soon as they learn to walk, so no beginner adults on the slopes like you see in Colorado. It was so embarrassing. I was tumbling down the mountains, and the classes of 4 year olds were zipping past me. People would slow down and speak to me in German. I assumed they were asking me if I was ok, so I just smiled and nodded. It's been four days since I went skiing, and I'm still sore. I also have a bruised right hip. But whatever. It was so worth it! I had so much fun, and being surrounded by the majesty of creation made all the pain fade away.
Now I'm back in Leeds and facing reality again. I have one more paper to write that's due Jan. 10. I haven't started any research yet. Nine days left to throw 3,000 words together on the role of the Internet in the development of global activism. Tell me again why I decided to go to grad school?
Happy New Year everybody!
