Hot mess

Today wasn't exactly my finest day. I got a call as I was going into my office at 8 a.m. that a new international student had arrived and was in front of the housing office with all her luggage and needed help. I turned around right away and walked across campus to Crumley Hall. As I was crossing the street, I saw the girl out in front of the building and smiled and waved. As I was stepping up on the curb, all of a sudden my heel caught in a crack in the cement. I staggered ... and staggered ... and ended up in a pile at her feet. The girl just looked at my with a shocked expression, not sure what to do. Something that is embarrassing in all countries: Falling flat on your face. I popped up, and laughing in embarrassment, said, "Hi! I'm Meghan. Welcome to UNT!"

I got my hair cut short on Saturday. This morning I spent lots of time styling it in preparation for the haircut "debut" at work today. Well somehow in the course of walking across campus to the housing office, walking back across campus to get my car to go drive the student to her dorm, moving her luggage up the stairs, and going into a dorm room that hadn't had the air turned on in months, I started sweating. And by sweating, I don't mean girly glistening. I was sweating hardcore. (Who doesn't love Texas in August?) My hair was soaking wet. And as it finally started to dry, it curled up, puffed up, and got weird kinks in it. Figures - I didn't have a brush or hair ties or a head band or bobby pins in my purse today. I had to walk around work all day with a giant birds nest on top of my head. What's worse is that everybody of course noticed that I got a haircut and was like "Oh, you got a haircut ..." I had to promise them to give my 'do another chance tomorrow. And of COURSE, a guy that I hadn't seen in forever stopped by my office today to see if I wanted to have lunch. So, I had to go to lunch, birdsnest and all, telling myself the whole time "it's what's on the inside that counts, it's what's one the inside that counts..."

Yes, my friends, today I was in fine form. And I think I sprained my ankle.

Thank you, God, for giving me the ability to laugh at myself. You definitely know how to make life more interesting, that's for sure.

New Title

Last spring, my pastor mentioned something that really stuck with me. It was just a passing comment, but it’s something I think I’ll always carry with me in the back of my mind. My relationship with God for the past year has been one mainly carried on in my head. I’ve struggled with developing the emotional side of the relationship. The side where I am crying out like David in Psalm 63, desperate for God and completely satisfied in his presence. At one of the classes I attended at The Village, Matt talked about how if we are trying to grow in our relationship with God, we need to fill our lives with things that stir our affections for Christ.

Bam. How simple is that?!

I feel like I’m starting a new chapter this year. Some of the things I’ve gone through this summer have caused me to rely on God in a way that I haven’t had to in a while. As God is dragging me out of the pit, I want to continue to build that relationship with him. I’m filling my life with things that stir my affections for him. When I think about my time each day, I realize that a lot of it is spent on the Internet. The things I view on the Internet can seriously affect my closeness with God. I read a lot of blogs. Many of those blogs have encouraged me or challenged me in my faith. They’ve helped stir my affections. I want my blog to be a place for others and myself to have that same experience. Hence, the new name.

Psalm 63
A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

Times, they are a changing.

A lot has been happening in my life and my heart lately. I don't even know where to start.

• I moved out of my one-bedroom apartment at the end of June and moved into a house owned by a friend from church. And ... I'm moving again at the end of August. This time to Denton (more on that later). I certainly did not expect to change my address, forward my mail, and have to leave again less than two months later, but I'll be moving on to a much better situation, and I am surprisingly excited about moving to Denton.
• I received some shocking news last week and have been dealing with a lot of hurt, disappointment, sadness, and confusion because of the actions of a friend. Once again, I can't really give out any detail on the Internet, but I've never experienced a situation like the one I'm going through now, and it's been difficult. I've been relying on the promise of Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of thsoe who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
• The unexpected circumstances I've faced in the last month have been a little tough, but the promises I've found in God and the support of the Christian community around me have been incredible blessings. I've grown closer to God and more passionate about sharing him with others. I feel like I've refound my joy and my desire to recklessly pursue a relationship with my creator. Therefore, count it all joy my brothers, when you are faced with trials of many kinds...
• I love my job. I've finally seen some fruition from the relationships I've been developing with my students. They've started inviting me over to their apartments for dinner, and I've had the opportunity to talk a little bit about God with some of them. And all those conversations took place because of their questions and interest. I've become involved in the international ministry run by the BSM on campus and have been able to make some great friends there. I really feel like God has me in my job right now for a reason, and that some big things are going to be happening this year. For these reasons, I'm excited to move to Denton and continue to build my relationships there. Plus, I met some awesome girls that I'm going to be living with in a month. I can't wait to get to know them and have fun living together!
• I went on vacation to Colorado with my parents a couple weeks ago. The mountains were beautiful! It felt so good to get away from Texas and see something new. I need to let myself be swept away by the majesty of creation more often. I always feel closer to God when I am in the mountains. It was also a good week spending time with my parents. We climbed Mt. Thomas together, which was quite the adventure. After that, we went to Aspen, then Twin Lakes, and then finished the week with an overnight white water rafting trip. I've got some good stories from that, but I'll have to save them for another time. This blog entry feels to serious and spiritual for the stories I have to tell.

I think I'll end there tonight. Don't give up on me yet, blog friends. I'll become a regular writer eventually.

Clearly, I suck at blogging.

Bringing IELI into the Blogosphere

I'm blogging for work now. Check out http://untieli.wordpress.com to find out about what is going on with international students at UNT.

I'm getting old

Don't you just love it when people tell you look tired and you know you got a good full 8 hours of sleep the night before? Yeah. That always feels great. Well, it had been happening to me a lot lately, and to be honest, I was getting tired of it. I felt fine, and couldn't figure out why people thought I looked tired. About this same time, however, I started noticing that my eyes were feeling strained. I had some days where I would have weird eye twitches and they were becoming really sensitive to the sun. So, I finally made use of my health insurance and went to the eye doctor. I found out two things:

1. My vision is a lot worse than I thought, and it's time for me to be a full-time glasses wearer.

2. The fluroscent lighting in my office is a killer. I don't have a window in my office, and therefore have no natural light. Between the lighting and staring at a computer all day, my eyes were strained and therefore looking "tired".

So, I am getting used to wearing glasses. I like them most days, but sometime they just don't "go" with things. Plus, it's hard to wear sunglasses and glasses at the same time (though I try when I'm driving). I think I am going to have to get over my "putting things in my eye" issues and get contacts. It's going to be hard to do contacts though. Remember that Friends episode where everybody had to hold Rachel down to put eye drops in? Yeah, that's me. Until then, I'll just be a proud member of the "glasses" club.

Best Quote of the Day

Hi. I'm Meghan. I like bad reality tv. Last night's Bachelorette was full of good quotes. The girls I was watching with were cracking up the whole time. One of my favorites:

"I'm just a basic guy from Dallas. I don't have any skills."

Tanner P. managed to eloquently sum up what is wrong with the male dating pool in Dallas in two short sentences. (I'm not bitter - only amused). He then made Dallas proud by talking about how he just wanted to suck Jillian's toes. Who says you can't find gold in reality tv?

If you too like the Bachelorette, go to this blog, http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/. It's greatness.

Beam Me Up

Man, it is hard to come back to work after being off for 6 days. Things are really quiet at the office until next week when I start giving new student orientation again. I had a nice surprise waiting for me when I got to my office yesterday morning though - a new chair! I'm learning that in "the office" it's all about the simple things.

Over the the weekend, I saw this movie:

My dad was paying for it, so I figured why not. Hello, Chris Pine. Why have I not heard of you before? I had never watched Star Trek before, but I enjoyed the movie. I've been thinking about finding a new hobby, maybe I could get on board and become a Trekkie. What do you think?

Maybe I'll just take up knitting instead.

A much needed rest

Since classes have ended until June 8 in IELI, I decided to use some of my comp time and take three days off work. Because of Memorial Day, I am ending up with a 6-day weekend. Yahoo! I had a couple of doctor's appointments in Plano to go to, so I decided to spend the weekend at home. My sister is back from OU for the week before she heads out to Seattle for the summer, so we got to spend some time together laying out by the pool and going to a movie. I feel like I am back in college and home for the summer. It feels so good!

Since I am at my parents house, I have internet finally. Yay! I've spent all morning playing around with blogging sites and am learning how to cutesy up my blog. It's pretty fun! I am moving out of my apartment at the end of June and into a house with some girls from my home group. I'm excited about having roommates again, and I will have a home with Internet again, so hopefully I can start blogging more. I seriously behind on my new year's resolution.

I love a good wedding

I was able to go to the wedding of my friends Jill and Wisdom this past weekend. I met Jill when we both studied abroad through the Baylor in Maastricht program our junior year in college. Not really knowing each other that well, we ended up taking a special trip to Ireland and England together that remains one of my favorite travel experiences ever, even after all these years. I actually met Wisdom on that trip too when he flew to London to do some traveling with Jill before we came home for the semester. He's a great guy, and they are perfect for one another. Since Maastricht, Jill and I have slowly become good friends, and I look forward to getting know her even more in the coming years. Jill and Wisdom have a long story full of God's grace and blessings, and it was so special to see them finally commit their lives to each other and to God. I love going to weddings like this. They remind me that God has a special plan and story for each of us, and one day, in his timing, I'll be the one walking down the aisle, sharing my own story of God's faithfulness with those who are present.

Congratulations Jill and Wisdom!

It's Monday

I was so proud of myself this weekend. I cleaned, did laundry, washed the dishes, ironed my work clothes for the week, packed my gym bag on Sunday night, and made my lunches for the week and put them in the refrigerator. The last one is key, because I always run late in the morning and either don't pack a lunch or arrive 10 minutes late because I had to make a sandwhich. I went to bed feeling a sense of accomplishment, even though there's no reason that I can't easily do those things every day. I got into work this morning and realized I had left my packed lunch in the refrigerator. :( No turkey pita, fresh cut up strawberries, and fig newtons for me today. I also left my morning yogurt snack there too. It's 9:49 a.m. and my stomach is already growling. So much for my wonderful plan. There's always tomorrow, right?

For the record

I hate cars. Except for the tiny fact that they me freedom to go places whenever I want. But besides that, I hate cars. My Betsy broke down on me twice last week and cost me A LOT of money to fix. She also caused me to have to chase after a bus when she wouldn't start. I was up at UNT on a Saturday to chaperone a fieldtrip and was going to follow the bus with my car. The buses had already pulled away when I discovered she wouldn't start, and I had to run after the bus with all my students looking at me through the windows. They figured out what the problem was though and got the driver to stop and let me on.

The people at the shop still can't really figure out what the problem is, so despite $1,000 in needed repairs, there's still no guarantee she won't quit on me again. Now I am a paranoid driver. When you commute 25 minutes every day on I-35 you want to be able to trust your car. I think the time is coming for me to make my first adult purchase and buy a new car. I've still got some saving to do though.

Poor Betsy.

Man 0, Wild 1

This past weekend, I went camping with some friends I’ve made at the Village. We went up to Turner Falls in Oklahoma and had a great time.

Here’s a little recap of the weekend:

Saturday
12:45 p.m. Sarah, Lindsay, Johnny and I meet up to load our CRV and drive to Oklahoma. I’m sad to learn that my camping cot won’t fit in the car, and I have to leave it behind. My motto in camping is, why sleep on the ground when you don’t have to, so I was disappointed to sacrifice my cot for the sake of our cooler with food. I had to take one for the team.
3 p.m. Arrive in Turner Falls and meet up with our friends in the second car. They had already picked our campsite, which was in the perfect secluded spot. We actually had to cross a creek to get to our campsite, and we all fell into the water at some point or another during the weekend. It’s hard to carry a cooler across the creek while trying to balance and hop from slippery stone to slippery stone. Note: It’s also hard to do that in the dark when you’ve got some wine in you.
4 p.m. Finished setting up our tents and decide to do some hiking. We walked over the falls and did some rock climbing and exploring in caves. The boys leave the girls behind to go be “mountain men” and do some exploring on their own, but we finally met back up and went back to the campsite.
7 p.m. Walked up a hill behind our campsite and sit on a ledge overlooking the “mountains” and watch the sun set.
8 p.m. Lindsay and I begin to set up and start our fire. It was difficult because everything was wet from the morning rain. After about an hour of frustration, we finally got it going. We made hobo packs and cooked them on the fire. Food always tastes better outdoors.
11 p.m. We all decided to go craw-dadding in the creek by our campsite. We managed to catch 8 and boiled them and tried them out.

Sunday
1 a.m. Finally begin to turn in for the night.
3 a.m. Still awake. I’m missing my cot.
5 a.m. Rustling outside the tent begins. Hissing and scratching and roaring at the tent next to us begins. All of the girls in my sit up and stare at each other wide-eyed. We decide the animal outside must be a raccoon. The raccoon is going to town on the tent that is holding our food and supplies. Stephanie pulls out her iPhone and starts tweeting so our family and friends will know what happens to us if we die. I think at some point one of us says, “At least we have boys with us to protect us.”
5:45 a.m. The raccoon finally leaves.
7:30 a.m. Tired of lying down and not being able to sleep, I’m the first one out of the tent, eager to inspect the work of the raccoon. I discover he had clawed a hole in the fabric of the tent next to us and pulled out and ate our hotdog buns and marshmallows.
8 a.m. The girls’ tent is up and cooking breakfast.
10:30 a.m. The boys emerge from their tent. We ask them if they heard the raccoon last night, and they have no idea what we’re talking about. So much for having boys around for protection.
1 p.m. Take down the campsite and head home.

Best quote of the trip:
Jesse (to Sarah, who is staying by herself at the campsite while we go hiking) – Want to take a gun with you?
Sarah – Nope, I got these. (Flexes biceps.)

Job Hunt

I applied for a job in DC yesterday. And I didn't apply because it was in DC but because it's a job that I would really like and think I would be good at. It would also be a good step up in my career. Now I'm telling myself to just live my life and try to pretend that I'm not playing the waiting game.

Hello Blog World

Obviously I've failed miserably at my New Year's Resolution to blog consistently. I've done a little better about writing in my journal, but not much. I've had some exciting things happen since I last posted. (Disclaimer: I live a pretty boring life right now. Exciting for me may not be exciting for most people.)

I went to Washington, D.C. at the begining of March. I needed to get OUT of town, and it was a much needed and enjoyed break. I got to visit my friends Min and Diana, who I had not seen since graduating from Baylor. It was so fun to see them again and catch up! To be honest, the purpose of my trip was two-fold: To go on vacation and see my friends, but also to check out DC and maybe do some networking. I've thought about moving to DC for a long time, but I haven't been there since I was a child. I figured I should see the city before I get too invested in searching for jobs there. As to whether or not there will be return trips to DC or possible move in the future ... TBD. I loved the city, but I am doing some serious prayer and God-seeking right now.

I am getting involved at The Village. I went through the membership class in February, and have been growing more and more comfortable in my home group. I'm starting to really care about and become invested in the women in my group. We started accountability groups a couple of weeks ago, and I'm so excited about the women I will be going through life with over the coming months. I also contacted the high school ministry at the church and met with some of the youth leaders. I'm going to become a home group leader for some high school girls and am attending my first meeting this Sunday. I'm so excited about this opportunity to mentor and invest in the lives of some teen girls. My small group leader in high school played a huge role in my life, and I'm excited to do the same for someone else. I'm nervous as all get-out though. What if I'm not fun or cool or wise and the girls don't like me? I'm trying to trust God to equip me for this adventure.

After some ups and downs at work lately, I'm excited about some projects I have going on. Staff had to work during Spring Break last week, and it was a horrible week. It was so beautiful outside, and I had to sit in my windowless office with no human interaction. I was so happy to see my students again this week. I really love them and have so much fun interacting with them. I will be sad to say good-bye to my students whenever I finally leave my job. I hate to admit it, but I realize now how easy it is for teachers to develop favorites. I definitely have mine.

I've had some fun nights out recently. I went karoaking with a big group for my friend Kim's birthday. We rented out a room in a Korean karoake bar and had a blast. I was the only person to receive a 100 top score from the computer for my rendition of "Larger than Life." Man, I can kill those Backstreet Boy songs. My friend Ashley also came down from Kansas for her Spring Break and we went out two-stepping with some friends. Haha. I've also had some fun dinner/shopping/coffee/movie dates with friends. Yep, I am "living the life". The Dallas life that is.

I need to start taking pictures so I can upload them and make my blog look more interesting. I just find it so dang hard to get pictures in the right position in Blogger, so I don't even bother. Does anyone else have that problem?

Happy Valentine's Day

My mom took me to see "Stars on Ice" as a Valentine's Day treat. I have always loved figure skating, and it was a special way to spend the day with her. By the way, Sasha Cohen fell in both of her solo skates, which made me realize that I have never seen her skate without falling. Remember the Olympics? How did she become such a star?

After I got home from the show, I went over to my friend Lindsay's house for a girls Valentine's party. I also treated myself to a small shopping spree at Target in the morning. Spending an hour in Target automatically makes any day better. In fact, I love Target so much, I think I would marry it if I could. Since that's probably not possible, maybe having my wedding inside Target would be the next best option. I would get married in the stationery aisle or the accessories department. Don't worry. I'm just kidding. Anyways, yesterday was pretty much the perfect day.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

Stirring my affections

This last week has been a hard one for me because of something that happened at work which I cannot talk about on my blog. Please know that there is a student who desperately needs prayer and a counselor (me!) who needs wisdom on how guide her.

I went through the membership class at The Village this weekend, which turned out to be a huge blessing to me. I have struggled with the decision of where I should go to church and how I should serve within the church. After going through the class, I feel very peaceful about my decision to join the Village and excited about the opportunities I have there. I have been meeting some great people and am excited to get to know them and hopefully walk through the next seasons of life with them.

Matt said something that really impacted me during the class. I don't remember what the original context was anymore, but he talked about how we should fill out life with things that stir our affections for Christ. I think back to the times when I have struggled with my desire to be in a relationship with God, and I realize that the things I prioritized in my life at the time were not things that would pull me or excite me about Christ. So, I made a list. I pray that I will continue to fill my life with these things and weed out things that pull me away from Him.

Things that stir my affections for Christ:
1. worship music
2. being in nature
3. strong Christian fellowship
4. the Psalms
5. prayer
6. good books with Christian themes
7. the innocence of children
8. missions and service
9. journaling
10. seeing or hearing other people's stories about sacrificial love

Ice Day

So despite having a day and a half off from work due to the "Great Texas Ice Storm", this has felt like the longest week ever. Work is soo busy right now, and I am exhausted. I've had to put in late nights all week to make up for the time off and next week will be just as busy. The good news is that the week after THAT I am going to use some of my comp time to take a day off.

So Tuesday morning, after sleeping in late because of the 3:58 a.m. text message saying UNT was closed for the day, I looked out my apartment window and noticed that one of my front tires was flat. I immediate thought three things: 1) Thank goodness it didn't pop on me while I was driving on I-35 (that's happened to me twice, and it's scary), 2) What a horrible weather day to have to go outside and put on my spare tire, and 3) Can I just leave it till tomorrow? The problem with leaving it till tomorrow was that I couldn't miss any more work, so I bundled up and drove slowly around Lewisville to look for a car repair shop. After spending my ice day sitting in a Firestone waiting room reading magazines, I got the dreaded news: You need new tires, and we've found about $1,500 worth of repairs that need to be done to your car.

Can I just say as a single woman who knows nothing about cars, there is no place that makes me feel more insecure than going into an auto repair shop alone? Do I really need this repair? Are they trying to rip me off? Why can't I remember when was the last time I got that part replaced? What will happen if I don't get it done? I also know that I commute 20 minutes up and down I-35 every day in lots of traffic, and I don't want to be nervous about my car going out on me. Anyways, the guy at the counter was really nice and patiently explained everything to me and told me he would "hook me up" when I told him I couldn't afford a lot of the maintenance that needed to be done.

The truth is, I know I probably don't maintain my car as well as I should. It's a nuisance to me, and I hate spending money on it. It's time for my attitude to change, I guess. I got some of the repairs done, and I will have to save up for the later ones. So, here's the funny part of the story, as I was getting ready to leave, the guy I'd been talking to all day asked if he could take me out sometime. He was nice, but I wasn't feeling it, so I gave him the "Thanks, but I have a boyfriend" lie. As I left, I wondered if I really should have turned down the guy who could help me out with $1500 in car repairs. He gave me his number to call "if I changed my mind", and when I looked at it later, I realized he gave me the Firestone customer service line where people are supposed to call and take a survey on the service they received. So was it really all a ploy?

What an ice day.

Make new friends, but keep the old...

...One is silver and the other gold. (Ah, Girl Scouts). I got to see some of my favorite Baylor girls this weekend. Lara and Ashley came up from Houston, Stacy came down from Oklahoma, and Lauren and I made the long trek from across the metroplex to Holley's house for a reunion. It was so good to see old roommates and friends, and I am so blessed to have become a part of this group of friends. I wish I could have had 4 full years with them at Baylor, and I missed their sweet spirits and goofy jokes after they graduated. Thanks for a great time, girls! (We missed you Chelsea.)



So, about my new year's resolution ... It wasn't hard to get all my veggies in this week, so I think I accomplished my first goal. However, I bought myself a bag of valentine's candy heart, and, let's face it, Necco advertises them as a "fat free candy", but there is nothing good about candy hearts. Pure sugar. Oh well, at least I didn't eat cookies, right?

This week:

• I will go to the gym M, T, H, F after work.
• I will not drink sodas or buy any more candy hearts.
• (And continue eating fruits and veggies with every meal).

Yes we can

It's my first post of 2009! The fact that this is being written on Jan. 16 is not a good sign considering my New Year's resolution was to write every day, either in my journal or on my blog. I've done better with writing in my journal. I have decided that I miss writing, and I hope 2009 will bring a job change. I remember that one of my professors told me that good writing takes practice. She said that even just writing in streams of consciousness for five minutes a day would help improve somebody's skills. Since I've been out of the writing biz for the past 6 months or so, I've decided I need to sharpen up. Hence the new year's resolution.


My second resolution this year is to shape up. Now this resolution has been set many times before. This time is different. I lost about 10-15 pounds while I was living in England. But now, six months later, I am back at my pre-England weight. Boo America. Too much Chick-Fil-A, Mexican food, and cookie dough - all nonexistent across the pond. I also walked everywhere in England and worked out almost every day as a break from studying. Now, I spend much of my day sitting and work out 2-3 times a week. Here's why I think I usually fail: I give up on myself too easily. I have never had accountability in my weight loss goals. Also, when you live by yourself, it is much easier to eat over eat. I am hoping by talking about this on my blog, that will change a bit. More so that exercising, my weight loss obstacle is food. Therefore, I am taking baby steps to change my lifestyle.



Goals for this week:

• Eat a fruit or vegetable with every meal.
• I will not buy any cookies (my weakness) at the store this week.

See you next week!