Today, my Dove wrapper told me to live my dreams.

This summer, my life has consisted of: work, work out, eat, read, sleep. Every day my alarm goes off at the same time, I hit the traffic lights in the same pattern on my way to work, I hear the same songs on the radio on the way home, and I can't shake the nagging feeling that each day is rinse, wash, repeat. (I feel like I need to insert a disclaimer here: I really have had some fun times this summer and enjoyed the time with my family. It hasn't been all bad.) Nothing can beat me down quicker than monotony. It makes me feel like I'm worth a little less, that I'm wasting precious days of my life. Movies and books, even the Bible, tell us to reach out and embrace life, to live each day to the fullest and not get beat down by the drudgery.

So, here's where I have problems. I am a dreamer, a romantic. I like to live in fantasy world, where every conversation and situation plays out the way I see it in my head. But there's another side to me. The side that keeps my feet on the ground - the rationalistic, journalistic side of me that jumps to see the impracticalities, probabilities and logistics of every situation.
How do I marry my two sides? How do I find a way to "live life to the fullest" and have a spectactular summer inside my cubicle while updating spreadsheets? If I were in a musical, I would tune in to the rhymic taps on the keyboard while tabbing between columns in Excel, start picking out some notes and belt into song. My coworkers would pop their heads up from behind their carpet walls and sing and bob along. Suddenly work would morph from dull to exhilerating. Maybe I've watched High School Musical too many times.

I don't want every day to be the same. I don't want to feel like I'm wasting my life. Soon, I will be off to England and my summer routine will be a thing of the past, but I'm tired of placating myself with mediocrity because I'm just waiting for the next big thing to happen. There will always be something ahead that seems better than where I'm at now. But I want to take advantage of the present. Have you ever driven somewhere and then got there and realized you didn't remember the ride? I don't want that to be my life.

So, the lesson here? Turn my "grown-up" summer into something more and enjoy this stage of my life.

I leave two months from today!

Passport ... check
Visa ... check
Fulbright grant papers ... check
Medical clearance ... check
Plane ticket ... check
Housing ... check
An idea for my dissertation ... ummmm
Fitting everything I'll want to have for a year in two suitcases ... impossible